When a woman is not fully at peace within, she can wreak havoc on her relationships, for years, I did just that. After studying the male/female dynamic for the past decade, I know that security is the greatest need for a woman; respect is the biggest need for a man. In our modern world, gender talks can be considered oppressive or archaic, but my intention is to understand men and honor women– to identify our differences so we can have more peaceful relationships.
The FIVE Ways Women Disrespect Men
1. Correcting our men in Public
Not too long ago, I was at the Passport office in Houston. An older couple walked in to handle an issue with their passports. As the gentleman spoke with the clerk, his wife constantly interrupted and corrected him. The husband pleaded with her repeatedly; “please let me handle this.” She finally took her seat. She huffed and puffed, tapping her feet nervously, eavesdropping on the conversation her husband was having with the clerk; she expected him to blow it. Hmm… I KNOW the feeling. I have been that woman, maybe not to that extreme, but I have certainly thought my husband NEEDED my help. When we correct and criticize our men in public, they suffer a loss of dignity. Save those talks for private time. The best way to help your man is to let him figure it out for himself; you will have a stronger man. You will possess more freedom as a woman, by staying in your own lane.
A woman is powerful; she can set the very course of a man’s life in motion, simply by listening to, and affirming his heart. When a man expresses his opinion or thoughts, turn off your “agree or disagree filter.” Instead, listen to gain understanding. The next time you are tempted to interrupt your man while he is talking, listen for an 8-count beat longer, I promise, if you wait a few moments more, he will share more than you expected. When we listen with “new ears” we will gain the connection and understanding of our men that we so deeply desire.
It’s OK to mother a child, not a grown man. A man will feel completely repelled (sexually) by a woman who becomes his mother. Exchange the mother hat for the lover hat. Love gives people room and space to grow. Love allows people the grace and patience to fail and recover; mothering can become domineering, controlling and most certainly “soul-killing” to a grown man. When we take off the mother hat, and put on the lover hat, we feel more vibrant, alive and sexy as women. As lovers we are more connected to the power of our femininity; we enhance and GIVE life to our men instead of stifling it.
Anyone who is controlling or manipulative is operating from fear. My own heart underwent years of healing and transformation, but they all pointed to one culprit, fear. I was afraid my needs would not be met, so I manipulated to get my way. As I mature as a woman, I understand my power. I use it wisely– to build, not destroy, to set free, not control, to liberate, not manipulate. And although I fall back into old fear-based habits of relating, truth is the anchor that consistently calls me back to love.
The book of Proverbs describes the nagging woman as a “leaky faucet.” Nagging is pure hell for a man’s soul. Think of a dripping faucet; you cannot rest when you hear it; likewise a man cannot rest in the presence of a nagging woman. Imagine if your man whined constantly to you about your weight or how you needed to change your appearance? How would that affect your spirit? A good man is compelled to make his woman happy, let him. A good man is driven to be productive—it’s their design, trust the process, not your words. Say it once and let it go. Say it once and write a reminder, but anything after that is nagging.
When we respect our men, we get their best. We feel better. You cannot bless another person without feeling more blessed. You cannot hurt another person without feeling hurt. The miracle of life, is that we get back what we give. Let’s show our men greater respect; because respecting them, is respecting ourselves.
I am with you on this journey towards personal growth, new life, wisdom and healthier relationships.
It is an honor to be with you on the journey, Contact Us to join our community. It’s free.
Ready to develop a Life Plan based on your authentic desires? CLICK here to find out about hiring Shannon as your personal growth coach.