When men and women understand each others needs and gender differences it can minimize hurt and foster healing. And while it would take hours to begin to even scratch the surface of male/female, masculine/feminine energy; we can work towards understanding each other better by examining the points below.
Men are not mind readers.
I had a male friend who told me a story about a woman he was dating. He took her to the airport, helped her with her bags and kissed her goodbye. Several days went by and he still had not heard from her. He was confused; they communicated on a regular basis. When they did finally speak, she told him she was “hurt.” She said: “If you really loved me, you would have parked your car and walked me into the terminal to kiss me goodbye.” My friend replied: “I do love you; so in the future when you want something from me, please do not expect me to read your mind. Tell me exactly what you want.”
How women set men up to fail.
Women set men up to fail when we set unrealistic expectations for them, ones that go against their design. Women replay the mantra in our minds: “if he loved me he would…..” Good men are compelled to make their women happy. We expect them to be in tune to our needs, but men are not women.
Rocket fuel for a man’s soul.
Men are driven to perform and produce; they rarely engage their energy where they do not think they can win. If a woman has chronically criticized and corrected her man; he will check out emotionally, or he will physically leave the relationship. If your man feels like he can “never win” with you– If nothing satisfies you; your man is probably not the real issue. Look within. Nurture and heal yourself.
Men need to feel important. Women need to feel significant.
Men, when your woman flourishes; your life expands. Your words are like water for her soul. When you say simple things like: “baby, I appreciate all you do around the house to keep it so nice for me and the kids.” Or, “have I told you lately how beautiful you are?” You bless your woman when your words make her feel significant. If your woman has suffered abandonment or severe betrayal in her past, remind her often: “I am in this for life.” Or, “I will take care of you, always.” I know it’s not logical for you as a man, to communicate what is obvious, but remember– women need to feel safe. Your consistency creates security. Feeling secure creates and environment for your woman to let her hair down and exhale. When she shines; you shine.
Love is patient.
Another person’s growth, healing and maturity don’t happen on our time table. In relationships, we always have a choice between pride and grace; choose grace. My husband often says to me, “baby, you have made me a better man.” But he has also made me a better woman. He is not perfect, neither am I; but our hearts are perfect for each other. As human beings, we have the power to crush or restore each other–the ability to hurt or heal one another. Chose love; loves heals all.
I am with you on this journey towards personal growth, new life, wisdom and healthier relationships.
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